When people talk about "sex" and "toys," a lot of folks get a fixed image in their heads — like this is something only a certain gender or a certain sexual orientation would ever touch. But the truth is, if you're a person with feelings and desires — no matter who you love, what your body looks like, or how you express your gender — you have every right to explore your own pleasure safely, without shame.

A sex toy is just a little tool. It doesn't label you or judge you. It's just a gentle little helper when you're having a conversation with yourself — or with a partner.

You might not realize it, but the LGBTQ+ community isn't just an important part of cultural diversity — it's also an economic force you can't ignore. According to LGBT Capital, a global advisory firm, the annual spending power of the LGBTQ+ community worldwide reaches $4.7 trillion.

Behind this number is a simple truth: every time you spend money, you're sending a message.

• Global Market: Roughly $4.7 trillion in annual spending power
• U.S. Market: LGBTQ+ consumer spending exceeded $1.4 trillion (2021 data), and this group is the fastest-growing minority in the U.S.
• Asian Market: Approximately 200 million LGBTQ+ individuals with $800 billion in purchasing power
• LGBTQ+-Owned Businesses: Contribute an estimated $1.7 trillion to the U.S. economy

Research shows that LGBTQ+ consumers are usually more likely to support brands that truly see and respect them.

• 69% say they're more likely to choose a grocery or household brand that supports the LGBTQ+ community
• 70% think it's important for brands to participate in or sponsor LGBTQ+ causes and events
• 76% are more likely to buy from companies that speak up for LGBTQ+ equality
• Ads that include LGBTQ+ representation can increase purchase intent by 40% and referral intent by 66%

What does this mean? If a company supports the LGBTQ+ community all year round — not just during Pride Month — that's not just "being politically correct." That's actually pretty smart business.

The economic influence of the LGBTQ+ community doesn't just come from within — it also comes from a big network of "allies" (people who aren't LGBTQ+ themselves but support them).

According to MRI-Simmons 2025 research:

• 56% of U.S. adults support the LGBTQ+ community
• 20% identify as LGBTQ+ allies or activists
• Even though they're only 20% of the population, allies account for 24-25% of total spending across many categories
• 87% believe brands should support the LGBTQ+ community year-round, not just during Pride Month
• 74% are more likely to buy from brands that show LGBTQ+ support

After all those numbers and brand attitudes, let's talk about something practical: If you want to pick out a toy for yourself, where do you even start?

First, forget the "for men" and "for women" labels. A lot of the time those categories are just slapped on randomly — they don't have much to do with your actual body or what you like. You just need to ask yourself three questions:

1. Which part of my body do I want to stimulate? External (like the clitoris, glans, perineum, nipples) or internal (like the vagina, prostate, or other spots you enjoy)? Or just a large area massage?
2. What kind of sensation do I like? Vibration, suction, pressure, rubbing, or a feeling of fullness? People's preferred "intensity" varies a lot too.
3. Will I be using this alone or with a partner? Some toys are designed specifically for two-person play, others are better for solo exploration.

Don't pick based on "what your gender is supposed to buy." There's no such "supposed to."

If you're trans, you might feel uncomfortable with certain parts of your body. That's totally fine — just avoid toys that stimulate those areas, and choose ones that only massage your thighs, back, or abstract-shaped toys that don't imitate any body part. If you're non-binary or queer, look for brands that don't use "he/she" on the packaging at all — just "user" or "they."

Material safety always comes first. Look for "body-safe silicone," ABS plastic, glass, or stainless steel. Try to avoid cheap ones that smell strongly of plastic — they might contain things that aren't good for your body.

Don't forget lube. It's not an "extra" — it can make the experience ten times more comfortable. Use water-based lube with silicone toys. For other materials, you have more options.

Finally, if a toy makes you feel nervous or uncomfortable, that's not your fault — that toy just isn't right for you. Put it down, try another one. You don't need to "get over" any reluctance to prove something.

When a sex toy brand chooses to:

• Use neutral language that you can define for yourself (instead of assuming your gender)
• Consider how trans people's bodies actually feel when designing products
• Show all kinds of skin tones, body types, and gender expressions in their ads and packaging
• Support the LGBTQ+ community all year, not just slap a rainbow on things in June

That's not "pandering" — that's sending a clear signal to a market with trillions of dollars in spending power: I see you. I respect you. You're welcome here.

And for us as consumers, every purchase is a vote. You can use your wallet to support brands that truly respect diversity, making inclusion a business practice that gets rewarded.

People's experiences are never the same:

Some people like gentle, external touch. Some prefer deeper stimulation. Some just want the warmth of skin rubbing against skin over a large area. And some aren't interested in any kind of penetration at all — none of these is better or worse than another.

If you've had gender-affirming surgery, the sensitive areas of your body may have changed — old designs might not work for you at all. If you're intersex, most products on the market were never designed with your anatomy in mind. If you're asexual, using a toy might have nothing to do with sex — you just want to relax your muscles or ease some anxiety.

These needs might sound niche, but they should never be left out of the conversation about pleasure. A truly open world doesn't force everyone to use the same method — it allows each person to find comfort in their own way.

Growing up, a lot of people were taught that sex toys are shameful — "only for people who can't find a partner." And for sexually diverse people, that shame often doubles — because some folks are already being judged for their sexual orientation or gender identity.

But some things are worth saying ten thousand times:

• Using a sex toy doesn't mean you're "not good enough." It's just one way you enrich your life.
• Exploring different parts of your body isn't "weird." Curiosity is natural and healthy.
• Using a toy when you're alone is completely normal — even worth encouraging. You're learning how to make yourself happy.

Put aside all those external labels for a moment and just ask yourself one question: "Right now, what would make me feel safe, relaxed, and good?"

1. Your body is not wrong. Whether it's been through surgery, hormones, or scars — it deserves to be treated gently.

2. Your desires are not wrong. You don't need to explain to anyone "why I need this thing." You need it — that alone is enough.

3. You don't need to copy anyone else. If the way other people like makes you uncomfortable, just put it down. You can absolutely create your own way.

Exploring pleasure is embracing your real self. And your real self already deserves all the love — including the love you give yourself.

And when you use your spending power to support brands that truly respect you — you're not just taking care of yourself. You're also sending a signal to the world: Inclusion is not charity. Inclusion has value.

Sources: GLAAD, LGBT Capital, MRI-Simmons, NIQ, The Other Foundation (2022-2025)