Have you heard of Fourth Love?

In conventional understanding, love is often confined to a fixed script: men are expected to be active and dominant, while women are passive and gentle, as if this were the only standard for heterosexual relationships. But Fourth Love, or 4i for short, is breaking such stereotypes and becoming an increasingly chosen form of intimate relationship. It is neither a novelty nor a rebellion; it simply defines love and connection based on one’s true self, rather than gender labels.

What Exactly Is Fourth Love?

Fourth Love is the fourth type of intimate relationship, independent of traditional heterosexuality, male homosexuality, and female homosexuality.

Its core: between partners of the opposite biological sex, social roles and intimate dynamics are voluntarily reversed — the woman takes a more active and leading role in the relationship, while the man is more receptive and comfortable showing vulnerability. Based on mutual consent and equality, the two redistribute power, responsibility, and emotional expression in intimacy.

It is not female dominance and male weakness,

not control and submission,

not merely a sexual pattern.

In a broad sense, Fourth Love covers all dimensions: emotion, daily life, and decision-making. From small things like dating arrangements to major life choices, roles are divided according to each other’s personality and will — not by gender “rules” that dictate who should be strong and who should yield.

The 3 Most Common Misconceptions, Clarified Once and for All

Myth 1: Fourth Love is “female strong, male weak”

False. Strength is never the key—consent and compatibility are.

Women in Fourth Love do not have to be aggressive.Men do not have to be weak or dependent.

Both break free from stereotypes:men don’t have to be tough;women don’t have to be gentle and quiet.

Women can embrace their leadership.Men can safely show their soft side.

They choose to be themselves,not forced roles—just comfortable with each other.

Myth 2: Fourth Love is a fetish, just like BDSM

They are completely different.

BDSM focuses on power exchange and sensory experiences, whereas the core of the Fourth Love is an equal intimate relationship — dominance and acceptance built on respect for boundaries and mutual devotion.There is no oppression, no grievance, only “I want this, and I feel comfortable”.

Myth 3: Fourth Love means a change in sexual orientation.

No. Most people in Fourth Love are heterosexual by biology. What changes is the relationship dynamic, not their sexual orientation.

They simply reject the idea that gender dictates roles, and choose a way of getting along that fits them better.

Why are more and more people choosing Fourth Love?

At its core, it is the loosening of gender roles and the awakening of self-awareness.

When women are no longer expected to “wait passively” and men no longer have to pretend to be “never vulnerable”, people begin to ask themselves:

What kind of love do I want?

Not: What kind of person should I be?

The meaning of the Fourth Love is to free intimate relationships from rigid constraints:

On Pegging: How to Choose Toys Safely and Comfortably

The three core principles for choosing toys are: safety, comfort, and consent.Preferred materials: medical-grade silicone, glass, and stainless steel.

Start with the smallest and slimmest sizeBeginners do not need to pursue large sizes.Comfort comes before appearance; relaxation comes before timulation.Starting with slim, short, and soft toys is the safest approach.

Choose a gentle shapePick styles with a rounded head, no sharp edges or corners,to avoid discomfort or injury.

Final Note: Love Has No Standard Answer

Whether it’s the traditional relationship model or Fourth Love, a good intimate relationship has always been about:letting you be yourself, letting you be seen, and letting you feel relaxed, free, and healed in love.

You don’t have to cater to society’s expectations, nor get tangled up in labels.